The Knight in Violet
by wittyDragoon
Summary: Princess Shiki has her eyes set on a wandering knight. She and the wizard Joshua compete for the purple-armored knight's affection.
1. The Day Shiki Became a Stalker

Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there lived a kingdom called Shibuya. The people of Shibuya were an average sort of people. They were alright at times, but they made a lot of noise. But that has nothing to do with this.

The king of Shibuya, Beat, was benevolent dictator; he took care of Shibuya and it's people, but only if they would listen to the shitty comedy routine he and Queen Rhyme put on every week. They were forced to laugh. But that has nothing to do with this either.

No, this has to do with Shiki, King Beat and Queen Rhyme's daughter. Shiki was quite the social butterfly. All the time she would sneak out of the castle to buy from the local D+B or Wild Boar, or chat with her best peasant friend Eri. Yes, she would do all these things and never spend hours staring at the purple-cladded knight whom she found at J of M occasionally. Of course not. A princess would never do that.

After a while, Shiki would find herself sneaking out of the castle more often to see her purple knight, even if it meant going to a tacky tailor-shop like J of M. The knight would do the same thing everyday; compare two pairs of shorts that looked exactly the same. Oh, how Shiki wished she could sew for the handsome knight. How she wished to feel the combination of the soft purple fabric and the obviously over-gelled hair. There were a handful of instances where she considered approaching the knight, perhaps to ask his name or invite him over to the castle for the night to maybe play a card game or something. But alas, Shiki didn't know what she was going to do, or how for that matter. After much thought, Shiki had decided to do the bravest thing she could think of- unknowingly trip right in front of him. Yes, the plan was foolproof. Shiki boldly strode into the shabby store until she was a few feet away from the knight. She prepared herself; her being a princess meant she never had to trip herself, for the maids always did it for her. She cautiously stuck her foot out and began to curl it inward before she fell backwards. Swearing in an un-princess like manner, she started to focus her rage on whatever had made her topple. Shiki looked up to see the purple knight staring back at her.

There were times when Shiki had written stories. Many were based off the pure fact that she thought the two male chefs looked cute together, so she wrote stories about them falling in love, going on dates, and doing the thing that makes children, or otherwise, nowadays, known as smut. Did Shiki know that this fan fictitious, smut written horror was the worst thing since American cheese? Probably not. Thus making the pages and pages stuffed behind her wardrobe describing in detail what she would do to the knight if they would ever play a card game completely justifiable. Totally.

Of course, it didn't help that Shiki's mind had flashed to those same sweat covered pages she wrote when she was in a questionable mood when the knight had bent down to help her up. Now would be the perfect opportunity for the Japanese stereotype to take effect and Shiki would have a nosebleed. But this is not Japan; this is Shibuya, which is totally not in Japan despite popular claims. Regardless, the normal trickling of blood down her lips did not happen, but rather, after she had taken his hand, a violent, but mostly pleasurable shock was sent through her body. After a few seconds of blood curdling cries, Shiki passed out onto the dirt floor of J of M. The knight stood there for a moment, obviously not knowing what to do. Who the hell would?


	2. The Day Joshua Became a Creeper

On the outskirts of Shibuya, there was a small hut that was home to a wizard named Joshua. Well, I would say hut, for that is what it looks like on the outside, but really it was a multimillion dollar pad complete with giant speakers and an even bigger red sofa. Oh, and the fish underneath the glass floor. Can't forget that.

Anyway, Joshua would sometimes wander into Shibuya, aimlessly looking for something to occupy his time with. Normally, Joshua would find nothing and, with his head hung low, would head to the local tavern, Wild Kat. But one day on his way there, he passed a J of M only to see a knight with spiky orange hair. But of course, he didn't stop to take a second glance.

Joshua's excursions to the somewhat decent kingdom of Shibuya became more frequent, since he obviously had nothing better to do even though he controlled the entire world from inside his "hut." But that doesn't matter. What matters is that he could easily see J of M from his "usual" seat at Wild Kat. It was completely unintentional, of course, seeing as it was his "usual" seat. Sure. The wizard spent a mass majority of his week making totally discreet glances across the dirt road, watching the knight compare two pairs of shorts that looked exactly the same. Oh, how Joshua dreamed of inviting him back to his "hut" and play games with pins. Not card games, oh no, because this is not Yu-Gi-Oh!.

Though he had never planned on introducing himself to the knight, Joshua could not help the numerous scenarios that played in his head whenever nonchalantly peeked over at J of M. All the dreams he dreamt were nothing short of a Naruto fan fiction. In Joshua's mind, all of sexual fantasies did not imply homosexuality, thus making him think nothing of the sort seem a tad off. King Beat and Queen Rhyme's shitty comedy routine had brainwashed the innocent people within a 500 mile radius. Joshua had thought he was immune to the straight slapjack humor, him being a wizard and all, but he didn't realize that no one was safe.

Anyway, even though Joshua did not actually want to meet the knight per se, he at least wanted to know more about him. About him and especially the pink-haired hussy who gawked at him day after day. There was no way people did not notice her licking her lips and running her hands over her hips while she sexually eyed him behind a rack of tacky shoes. Despite having controlling every function of the world, Joshua chose to have a petty hatred for the pink-haired girl, glaring at her from his now usual seat at Wild Kat. He would notice her contrive her card games, but Joshua would contrive harder, thus making her attempts at smutty daydreaming pale in comparison to his.

At this point in time, one would wonder why neither of them had attempted to approach the knight, let alone one another. Joshua had taken notice to the ugly girl's plan of tripping in front of the knight, since all of her thoughts were apparently being projected onto the giant flat screen of the world. But since Joshua held the world in his pants, none of her random fantasies (most of them involved card games) were really secret. Regardless, Joshua had said something that may of translated into modern English as "Aw hell naw" and used his mysterious wizard powers to make the "skanky whore" fall backwards onto the ground, where Joshua had hoped she would spend the rest of her life. But alas! The knight being as kind as he was sexy bent over (that which happened to leave a permanent mental image in Joshua's mind) to help the bitch up. Just before Joshua began to create more fantasies with image now burned into his brain, the girl's mind was put up on the giant screen of the biggest Molco ever. Joshua could barely believe the mass amounts of smut that a mere human could muster, and yet have artwork be stuffed behind a dresser. The card games were more than Joshua could bear, making his conversions seem like child's play. It was no surprise that the pink-haired girl had a violent tremor and passed out, for Joshua would of done the same after touching the pale, slender fingers that belonged to only the sexiest man alive. After realizing that he would no longer be comfortable sitting in his now usual spot at Wild Kat, Joshua retreated home to partake in his own card games.


	3. The Day Shiki Wishes She Had a Car

Had Shiki fallen in love? That, she could not say. Though she had plenty of time to contemplate over said problem after her bodyguard, Tenho, had taken her back to the castle before she could wake. After arising from her pink canopy bed, Shiki felt refreshed, renewed, slightly cleared of mind, though she didn't know that was caused from the release of pent up sexual frustration. Unfortunately, she could not remember why she had passed out, or why the area behind her dresser looked quite burned. Regardless, Shiki had felt in the best of moods she had ever felt since she first heard her mother's and father's comedy routine. To her, it was the greatest creation of mankind, that shitty comedy routine.

Shiki had chosen her outfit very wisely that day, as she prepared to head back down to the tacky tailor-shop and "shop." However, it wouldn't have mattered because all of her expensive silk clothing was the same puke green and dirty magenta. However, she loved them all. No one is immune to the comedy routine.

Though she was filled to the brim with overwhelming confidence, Shiki decided to visit her peasant friend, Eri. Eri was a very beautiful young woman, polite and mature as well. However, due to Shiki's massive jealous streak, she forced Eri to wear glasses that cover half her fair face and replaced all her clothes with oversized dreary sweaters and brown skirts. Regardless, Eri still looked much hotter than Shiki, but she would never admit to such tom-foolery. Anyway, Shiki had told Eri about the marvelous knight who couldn't shop. She described every last detail, from his over-worked hair to his over-sized shoes, from his concentrating glare at shorts to what she vividly imaged how tall his deck of cards would be. She was suddenly reminded of her burnt dresser, but brushed it off with ease. Shiki, of course, excluded the part of her faux pas, mostly for dramatic story-telling effect, not because it would be totally lame to tell anyone that she had not touched anything behind the dresser in weeks.

Shiki left Eri's alleyway/place of residence in a grandiose fashion, mildly attempting to flip her tight green skirt and failing miserably. She returned to what might as well be known as her second home, the tacky tailor shop with an even tackier name. A bright smile full of innuendo spread across her pale cheeks as she looked through the window of the shop.

And behold! Who would be that light haired wizard speaking to her lovely knight in violet? Shiki glared at the mage, her fists flexing in a very unladylike manner. The wizard had laughed. The knight laughed back. Shiki punched the window, which attracted more than just the attention of the two. Shiki had no choice but to abscond, retreating back to the palace. Her mind raced with more than just a friendly conversation between the wizard and the knight, thoughts which made her go wild with excitement and despair simultaneously. Of course she cared for the knight more than her smut pulp, but the thought refused to leave her head. No, no, Shiki then replaced it with the pure simplicity of Naruto yaoi, which was readily available in Shibuya due to high demand. This calmed her down and a couple complicated feelings arose, that of which she decided to ignore.

Shiki did not know this wizard, nor did she care to know this wizard. All Shiki knew was that the wizard needed to be gone, right after he gets beat into a pulpy pulp for laying his hands on something, no matter how imaginary, already claimed with magic marker.


End file.
